Content Amidst the Chaos

Just another weblog

A True Test December 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jps23 @ 9:05 pm

Well, here is a true test of my ability to be content amidst the chaos.  My sweet S7 is here, but it wasn’t nearly the way I expected it to be.  I was able to see our other children’s Christmas programs at church, and for that, I was grateful, but it seems that the programs were so good, they had little S7 doing flips!  We get home, my contractions increase in number and intensity, so we go to the hospital.  It turns out that he was in breech position.  Now, my doctor delivers breech babies, as long as there is no distress and the baby is positioned well, which was the case in the beginning.  However, he managed to drop a foot and then the umbilical cord was being pinched between his legs and torso, causing his heart rate to dip too much for our liking.  So we had to have an emergency c-section.  Now, I’m not one of those who feels more one with my child because of the way they are brought into this world, with or without meds, vaginal or c-section, etc.  That didn’t bother me.  What bothered me was the 6 week recovery this kind of thing requires afterwards.  That doesn’t exactly line up with six little people needing love and care from Mommy when she returns home.  I kept saying to them, “Once the baby is born, Mommy will be able to…”  Now, I come home with boo-boos that forbid them from climbing in my lap.  I can’t pick them up.  I can’t snuggle with them.  And there is still Christmas to be taken care of.  And my sweet Superman does so much already.  Coordinating help for six kids can be so hard.  And while help is often offered, it isn’t always reliable.  Our help for the night we were in labor didn’t go as planned, and the help lined up for the day we were to come home from the hospital didn’t work out either.  So even when you have a plan to manage the chaos, it doesn’t always work out.  We try to have people who really know the kids be the ones that take care of them in times like these.  It’s just easier for us and the kids.  Transition is hard, and change isn’t a welcome friend around here to anyone but me, so we try to make it as smooth a gig as possible.  Since we’ve lost our favorite babysitters ever to college and ministry over seas, we just don’t have that person that we can call on.  The funny thing about them, too, is the one overseas is coordinating meals and help for us from England, and the college student is home for the week, so he managed to come over and help out by taking the kids to school one morning.  Even when they are away, they manage to be here for us.

So this is a true test.  An unplanned c-section is our chaos, and add to that the high levels of bilirubin in S7’s blood, requiring time on bililights and visits from a nurse daily to take his blood (not fun).  Can I be content?  Can I find peace in this situation and truly rest and recover with the house a mess and friends dropping by daily to bring a meal or help with a kid?  Can I handle family conflict gracefully and with a heart like His while trying to recover and enjoy this new life He has blessed us with?  Can I juggle the Christmas festivities?  Here’s praying that I can be content amidst the new baby, Christmas chaos!


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