It’s all their fault. It’s why I can’t keep up with a regular posting on here. It’s why my brain is too fried at the end of the day to come up with a decent post. It’s why my house doesn’t stay super clean, or clean at all, for that matter. I have plenty to write about, but gathering it all together into a cohesive post that makes sense and says all that I want to say, well now, that’s a different story. It’s why I can’t eat very well right now. It’s why I can’t run to the store and pick up a few things.
However, it is also why I feel loved every morning when I rise and every night when I go to bed. It’s why my house is always full of laughter and love. It’s why I see my husband in a much more amazing light. It’s my daily, physical, in-front-of-my-face reminder that God loves me. It’s what He made me for. It’s what has given me perspective on what really matters in life. It’s taught me more than I could have ever learned on my own.
We are thrilled beyond words about this new baby. But with respect to honesty, there are days I’m scared. I don’t always see myself as capable as He does. I doubt myself more than anyone I know on earth. And then there are those moments when I am assured that He has not given me more than He plans on empowering me to survive. He knows what He is doing, which is great because I’m not even good at picking out what to wear on a given day.
I’ve decided to share a very personal and intimate part of our life at this point. This whole baby ordeal. Answering the questions that many people are asking, at least in their heads. Are you guys done? How many is enough? What are you thinking? I must say that it seems the more children we have had, the more people have gotten used to it. OR, the more appropriately they’ve chosen to handle those questions and comments we used to get bombarded with by perfect strangers in Walmart.
Superman and I decided that we would start a journal through this pregnancy, but it’s not the type of journal one might expect. It is to be a journal of questions we have. It will record the struggles we face. It will also record the evidence that we see each day that this is what we were supposed to do. You see, at my last appointment (the first for this pregnancy), I was informed that because the last baby was a c-section, this next baby would need to be also. I was also informed, though this was not a suggestion, that while I was open, if I wanted my tubes tied, then would be the time. It is my midwife’s duty to talk to me about birth control options, even though she is aware that for us, birth control is not an option. However, with our recent c-section and the impending one next summer, I have begun to wonder, “How many of these can I do?” We felt like this was a heavy decision to consider, not necessarily using a particular form of control or prevention, but just considering it period, and it was one we felt needed to be thought about and considered carefully.
In case you are curious, I’m taking you on this journey, too. These posts will be tagged “babies”. Read them or not, comment as you like, but I just feel a strong urging to share this part of our life. Maybe God has a plan to use it. Next post will give you more detail regarding how we got from our conversation as high school sweethearts about four babies, three years apart to where we are now, with eight babies in nine years. If you don’t get anything out of this, at least you can pray us through it. Thanks for reading.