I’ve been racking my brain over what to post upon my return to my blog (I say that like I’m some fantastic blogger, imparting wisdom to all 3 of you who read my posts). When you have been “gone” during a period of transition, it’s hard to know where to pick up. I did post a note on my FB page about our decision regarding more babies, and if you didn’t read it, it basically said that we feel the need to allow some spacing, at least, and practice natural family planning (charting your cycle and abstaining during fertile periods) and the use of barrier methods when we aren’t sure of the timing. If you know our story about our sweet surprise, then you realize you can’t always rely on the natural signs from your body when nursing in order to avoid/prevent a possible pregnancy (I just cringe inside
saying typing that, but I just can’t imagine being pregnant again anytime soon). It took A LOT of prayer to come to that place, and I’m not certain that decision won’t change next week, but for now, this is what makes me feel less overwhelmed. I’m a healthier momma when I am not as overwhelmed as I have been the past few months.
That being said, I have to describe these days home following Isaac’s birth as The Honeymoon. The cool part, though, is that for us, our honeymoon was just the beginning. We are the couple that was so desperate to marry one another that we didn’t care about the honeymoon. Adam’s aunt and uncle offered us the gift of a week at their lake cottage on Lake Oconee at Reynold’s Plantation. It was a nice stay for us, but it wasn’t like these honeymoons where people go for a week to some exotic location, all meals included, open bars and endless activities to entertain us. I’m certainly not knocking those and would actually like to do something like that some day, but it also didn’t leave us coming home to reality slapping us in the face, leaving us yearning for crystal clear waters and seafood buffets. The honeymoon was the hint at what was to come for us. Giddy to wake up together. Thrilled to fix one another breakfast. Eager to iron his shirt. Blessed just to be there. And I have to say, that is what I feel like when each of our children have come home with us from the hospital. Giddy to wake up to find him here. Thrilled to nurse him in the morning. Eager to wash his outfits. Blessed just to be there. Add to that the amazing joy of watching our older children fall in love with their brother. Thomas kisses him no less than 20 times a day right now. The girls “fight” over who gets to hold him next. Joseph loves his “teeny tiny” everything. Coleman is so proud to hold him, pat his back, and be his buddy. Andrew is ever concerned about where he is and if he has what he needs. Oh, how my heart melts. Coleman even asked me if I could have another baby the very day we came home with Isaac. So many people think the kids feel cheated or ignored in a large family, where time for one-on-one seems more limited, but oh, they are so wrong about THIS large family.
We also have another type of honeymoon that we experience when we bring home another baby. It’s like a renewal of vows for us. All the petty crap falls away and we realize why we love each other so much. Time together without a child around is very limited in this phase, so we grab at every squeeze, kiss, or hug we can get with one another. We don’t take them for granted, like we tend to do so many of the days in between every day living. He hates going to work and counts the minutes to being home with us. I miss him not even 2 minutes after he leaves that morning. And when he returns in the evening, all is right. The kids greet him at the door as if he had been gone two weeks! I can’t wait for him to land those lips on mine when he comes in the door. It’s this blissful joy that just can’t be put into words. I love being his wife. I love being their mom. He loves belonging to us, being needed by us, being loved by us. And we are even more crazy about one another today, after almost 14 years of marriage and 18 years of being a couple, than we were when we first held hands at that band competition, or shared that first kiss, or said “I do.”
Ah, the honeymoon. This one certainly doesn’t have meals included and prepared in some rich display (unless the Lunchables were on sale this week). The only open bar is the soap dispenser in our bathtub filled with Dove shower gel, Suave for kids, and Baby Magic. The glistening water is that in the clogged sink, with a hint of spaghetti sauce residue (you can’t ever get that stuff clean!). The activities include play-doh and Matchbox cars. The bed is turned down only because it never got made up. But oh, what is to come is so promising and so rich that I’d take it over one of those other honeymoons any day. I am so in love with that man and our babies.